Growing Up

If you didn't already know, i shall be 30 in December.  In some ways thats seven whole months away.  Realistically its ONLY SEVEN WHOLE MONTHS away.  But it's been playing on my mind.  I don't know why it bothers me quite so much.  And i would go as far as to say that it even annoys me that it does.  But it does.  So here's a list of reasons why i don't feel like I am old enough to become 30.

1  I own 14 coats/jackets.  Not one of them are waterproof and not one of them have a hood.

2  I can't make a decision if my life depends on it.  And there is an equal amount of difficulty in deciding what to eat for lunch and what contents insurance policy to pick.

3  I spend most of the time during our weekly shop in the biscuit aisle.  

4  I can't talk about my feelings.  I thought it was something i would get better at.  I haven't.

5  I don't really and never have had a life plan.  And so no i don't know where i will be in the next ten years.

6  I have never eaten any kind of shell fish.  And i don't ever want to.  It doesn't smell nice or look appealing.

7  If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I would hold all of the gold medals.  Even if i don't intend to, most things are done at the very last minute with seconds to spare!

8  I am petrified of being sick.

9  I am currently reading Lewis Carroll's  'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass.'  Escapism at it's very best.  

10  I have never seen The Matrix.  In fact for someone with a degree in Media, my answer to "Have you seen ---" film, is mostly always a 'no.'  I like what i like.   And i'd often rather tear pages out of a magazine and listen to some music.

11  I only know one type of stitch. 

12  I say 'What' far too often.  Which actually means i have poor hearing/a short attention span and need to be reminded (as i was ALL through my childhood) that it is in fact not 'what' it's 'pardon.'  

13  I am a big forgetter of birthdays.  I always make up for that by being an excellent present buyer though.  

14  I could gaze at the sky all day long.  Sometimes i do.

15  I still haven't mastered liquid eyeliner on one eye, let alone two.

16  I can't deal with One Born Every Minute.  There are things on there i know happen, but i don't want to see them.  

17  I always forget what day the recycling goes out.

18  I can't iron.  I rely on the 'hang on a coat hanger and hope for the best' method. Except pillowcases.  Everybody likes a neatly pressed pillow right?!

19  I don't own a house.  And unless money starts growing on walnut whips there is a fat chance of that happening.

20  I am far too particular about what type of beverage goes in what cup.  

21  I don't own a dining table or any dining chairs.  

22  ^or a cheese knife, steak knives, or more than four dinner plates^.  But let's not turn this into a 'what i don't own' list.  I make up for it in mugs and cups ok?

23  I can't drive.  And i'm not sure i even want to.  

24  I have only recently worked out that the difference between single and double cream is not the thickness.  

25  I couldn't buy a 'good' bottle of wine if i tried.  I like merlot therefore I always buy merlot.  And the one which has the prettiest bottle.  If you like Rose or white wine then you're screwed really.

26  I still can't boil an egg perfectly:  as in perfectly dippy but not raw.  I more than make up for that in my scrambling ability though.  That is off the chart, trust me.

27  I can't sit still.  If you get me to finish anything you are really special and I am making one hell of an effort!

28  I have real trouble accepting any kind of compliment.

29  Somewhere is always bruised.  My spacial awareness is non-existent.  In fact its a miracle I am still here.

30  I am often too independent.  I want to do everything by myself and will not ask for help unless it is a last resort or I have nearly killed myself trying to do something.  
*   *   *  
So there.  A list of random thoughts of why i don't feel old enough to enter my thirties.  Reading them back is interesting!  Even if I am hell bent on not comparing myself in any way to anyone else, in life it sneaks in there somewhere doesn't it? You can't help but compare yourself to something else in one way or another in some part of your life.  I feel like it is buried deep deep down inside all of us.  Even if you say you don't we all measure ourselves against someone else's ideal, someone else's view, appearance or life.

But we shouldn't take it all too seriously.  After all we are all so very different on the outside that we are never going to be exactly the same on the inside either.  We all find our own way in this world, at our own pace.  And as long as you are happy it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.  And i am, I am really happy so that's what's important. 

Just bear in mind if i ever invite you round for tea, you might have to bring your own drink…and probably a couple of dinner plates too.  Oh and we wont be having shell fish!